Okay…I’ve got questions about this woman. Please know that I am not making light of pedophila; there are just things I don’t understand about this case, and I really wish Thadeus Whatshisname had done some more in-depth reporting, because Patty is now in Ohio and unavailable for my questions.
1. What was her motivation? I mean, if it was to have sex…well…most 14 year-old-girls in Orick would probably realize there’s something missing. Like a penis. And if she tried to use a strap-on or something….wouldn’t that look like a huge permanent tent in her pants and kind of gross out the girl she’s trying to have sex with? Why not just be a lesbian and look for lesbian teenagers. (If you’re a pedophile.)
2. If the motivation is not sex, then what the hell is it?
3. That picture is blurry. She’s 32 years old. She can really get away with looking like a 14 year old boy? I’m impressed.
4. Boobs. What about them? Duct tape?
5. Mark just gave me a sugar cookie with frosting on it, and I bit into it, and the frosting fell into the keyboard and now I can’t get it out. Sugar cookies and champagne. Oh wait, I was asking questions about that woman. Okay. Focus.
6. I’m distracted by the cookies and have had to remove the rest of this sentence because my blog guardian angel thought it might not be the best idea to call someone who just might read this an asshole. Thank you, angel.
7. Pedophile and transgender?