drunken cousin update

I bet you’re all wondering what’s happened to my beautiful and talented cousin Keri.  Me too.  So I called her today to remind her that back in February she had made a commitment.  A big blogging commitment.  You see, in February, Keri and I went to a fabulous writers workshop in Gold Beach.  We laughed, we talked, we wrote, we ate, we drank, and we made the big decision to switch to WordPress.  Keri told me she was inspired….energized….that she was never going to stop blogging again.


On the phone today I patiently listened while she gave me every excuse in the world for not writing.  And then decided there was only one thing to do.  Until she is able (or sober enough) to blog again, I’m just going to have to post for her.  So here is the first of hopefully a very low number of Keri updates as told to me this afternoon.  There is no exaggeration or dramatic flair involved, and I certainly didn’t make anything up.

This week Keri:

  • got into a brawl in Winco over the last ham on the night before Easter  Sunday (she won)
  • visited a local farm and received two free grass fed beef steaks merely because she’s so adorable
  • started drinking on weekdays
  • lusted after chicken coops
  • sang “Dancing Queen” at the top of her lungs while driving down the highway 17 times

See why she has no time to blog?

I will also continue to post my favorite picture of the two of us together.  Circa 1988.  Doing the Family Vacation Rap.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

4 responses to “drunken cousin update

  1. LMAO!!!!! You’re killing me. She won at Winco?
    I had something really inappropriate to say about that, but I decided to restrain myself.
    I miss Keri. But your post is a great salve to my wounded soul until she comes back.

    Here’s to kicking ass at Winco! Oh and drinking on weekdays. I’m all for that too.

  2. You really had that old Flava Flav thing going with the VW emblem. Was your stage name “Cristalbel” back in the day?

    Pffft…The late 80’s…what an embarrassing era….now, the late 1970’s on the other hand ….now we’re talkin’…… “Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Stayin’ Alive, Stayin’ Alive….”

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