I heart blog stalkers

DISCLAIMER: The word “stalker” is used loosely in this post, like in the “Kristabel-is-so-totally-obsessed-with-Heraldo-she’s-like-
a-stalker-but-it’s-so-adorable-he-puts-up-with-it” kind of way.


Several weeks ago as I was walking to the store on my lunch break, I saw a cute woman across the street looking at me and smiling. I smiled back at her and gave a little wave. Then she said, “Are you Kristabel?”

I froze in shock and didn’t answer thinking I must have misunderstood her. She asked again, “Are you Kristabel?”

I hurried across the street to her. “How’d you know?” She laughed and said that she knew I must work in the neighborhood because of some of the pictures I’d posted of the surroundings. She also said that she recognized my hair. She hugged me and sweetly said how much she liked Chocolate Covered Xanax. I was very flattered but oddly I wasn’t sure what to say. Finally I mumbled, “Please don’t tell anyone who I am. I post pictures of my sex toy mishaps.” She said she wouldn’t, and we both went on our way.

I thought about her a few times after that. She seemed smart, nice and like someone I’d like to be friends with. I almost delivered some marshmallows to her. I almost asked if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee, but I didn’t. It just seemed…..weird.

Friday morning I looked down at my flip-flop clad feet and gasped at the ugliness. The red toenail polish was chipped and my heels looked like the bottom of a dry creek bed, so I decided to treat myself to a pedicure at The Spa. I deserve it right? Don’t answer that.

I arrived a little bit early for my appointment (on purpose – so I could drink a bunch of the yummy cucumber water) and was sitting in a chair waiting when who should appear at the counter? My blog stalker.

We exchanged hellos, talked about the joys of painting, waxing and wearing dresses in the sun, and she headed out the door as I headed back to the pedicure tub.

After the treatment, I sat lounging in the happiness of being pampered and waiting for my now-gorgeous bright orange toes to dry. Just as I was about to slip on my sandals, the receptionist came over. “I just wanted to let you know that your pedicure’s been paid for by the best blog stalker ever, so whenever you’re ready you can just skip on out of here.” Again she had managed to completely shock me, and I was extremely touched. What a totally unexpected act of kindness and generosity.

I thank you, blog stalker, from the bottom of my chubby painted toes. You’re definitely getting some marshmallows.

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27 responses to “I heart blog stalkers

  1. Nice! I just get people who want to kill me. I guess those are just the breaks.Cute Toes.

  2. Funny, only Mark Lovelace has ever come up to me in public and asked me if I was Ekovox. How he knew, I’ll never know. I don’t leave any clues or anything.But, Kristabel, I have this strange sensation we shall all meet. Ah, yes…the Blogger’s picnic on Sept. 7th.I have this reoccuring dream that Heraldo pulls up in a vehicle about a hundred yards away and phones one of us to say he dropped by to make an appearance. And then, casually drive off. That would be funnier than Hell.You know, Perhaps someone who is creative could get a bunch of Heraldo masks fashioned after the avatar from his site for the picnic and we could wear them when we arrive.That would be a hoot.

  3. I’m going to have to blog so I can have a nice blog stalker. all I have is a crazy ex with a vendetta. heeeeeeeeey….you wanna trade?!

  4. It was my pleasure. Truly, the pedicure was intended as a thank you for the kick-ass blog. But if I get added to the marshmallow list, well who am I to turn away from big, fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth bliss?

  5. nice flop-flips i wish i cuold wear those but Suzy has this little problem –a beauty mark LOL right where the strap falls … and it (the bm) sticks out a little bit and gets rubbed by the flopstrap or whatever you call it and so when i wear flip-flups the strap always irritates that little devil –the baeuty mark– when i walk … you know … so i cant wear them unless i dont walk which i do sometimes too (“not walk”, not –“walk”) anyway so Billy says if we have a good year he will like pay to have the bm removed from the my foot and put in a better place like where Madannas is or somewhere so that i can walk around in flapflups without my bm being irritated… LOL byut anyways thats not whats on Suzys mind today anyways LOL but so its like this– i was just now reading your comment to me on the parrot post and i am trying really really hard LOL to think LOL um –to think of a way to say um, okay ill just say it outloud —<>i think i heart yuo too Kristabel…<> it was looking at your prwtty painted toenails and dreaming of your hair that hooked me <>sigh<> –but Suzy wanna know for sure … sooooo… when i am finally totally ready to give my debut poetry reading and i am all set to read my poem at my grand opening — lemoncino marshmallow in one hand and pipe full of limekush in the other .. .. at that moment i need to look deep into your eyes and say in a loud clear voice <>—this is for Kristabel<> (here’s where the harmonica part comes in Carol –key of G –for gold).. .. .. .. And then –right on the upbeat –Suzy will proceed to read these baeutiful words– uh, uh.. shit.. i lost my cheatsheet — sheeeeit!! it was all abuot <>true love<> an everything too –damn –where is that little peice of purple paper? –it was right here a minute ago … okay you can stop pounding the bongos dude — why do i always lose stuff???.,. now i made fool of mysulf in front of everybody .. now Kristabel will probly hate Suzy for ruining her swweet blog about lovestalks an cute parrots and squirrels an everything. Sheeeeesh yuo wouldnt blieve the stress of being a poet for whom the ‘bel rolls (her eyes) —-somebody help a poor Suzy, i need a strong disclaimer, why does love have to be sooooooooo fucking complicated — Billy whares my bong? Suzy will be back later when i get my shit together, LOL in the meantime K, my feelings for you are shaped the same as < HREF="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/155/341676510_21d56c9bd0.jpg?v=0" REL="nofollow">my beauty mark<> (look close) –i needa go rehearse which in Suzys way of speaking means going for a pedicure …LOL (~; i think ill have them painted lime green to go with the kush. love?,S

  6. Suzi would have lots of fun screaming poetry from Ms.Newlypaintedtoes’s spanking bench,followed by a scrumptious cosmo marshmallow.

  7. eeeeeeeeeeeK! I meant “not mresquin” not “not mrequin”so so sooorrry, LOL,–ill wear lime toes to go with teh black bench.;~)S

  8. Wahhh! I wanna blog stalker too! Seriously, what a nice thing to have happen but it is really awkward when you post kind of anonymously and someone recognizes you. On a side note, I’ve heard wonderful things about the Pedi-egg and how it does wonders on dry skin. You can get it at Walgreens for less than $10.

  9. Suzy…I don’t even know what to say except…I think it’s time for a threesome at the spanking bench. But it’s stainless steel, not black, although I believe lime toes go with both color schemes.xoxoxox

  10. hey sweet,you dont have to <>say<> anything . . . LOL ;~) thats the way Suzy likes it besst… ill get back to yuo when i find that piece of purple paper …huggles,S

  11. Suzy- have it removed. Drs Pardoe (either one) will do it and you will be happy, guaranteed. It looks like it needs removing as it will be rubbed by your shoes as well as your flip-flops, and a scar in that place won’t matter much. It might need to go- please have an M.D. look at it.

  12. Suzy can scream, scream, scream poetry while under the spell of thy magic flogger.Kristabel,gonna need to bust out that cowgirl hat.

  13. oo oo oo i am soooooooooo excited.. .. the devine K will be there in western duds and you, you wild thang you == you will pluck your magic twanger-floggy LOL and then Suzy will cum as a < HREF="http://youtube.com/watch?v=L9pPFCjRPvM&feature=related" REL="nofollow">cream puff<> and then wont the cowgirl in drag be sooooooooooo hungry to eat me –LOL.good to the last drop,S

  14. <>It might need to go- please have an M.D. look at it. May 19, 2008 9:26 PM <>Thank you sooooooooooooooo totally much for your concern. Suzy wants to be happy guaranteed like you told me for sure… But im not so for sure i want to rush into this operation without some 2nd opinions because what could be more serious than the removal of a girls little heart? When it ‘goes’ Suzy wont mind there being a scar where her heart once was –thats life. . . but the questoin is <>–can Drs Pardeau put it back in a better place than it is in now<>?<><> That would really really really make Suzy happy :~) And where should Suzy have her little heart transferred to folks? Billy says on my left cheek, but what do yuo guys think? –below the nose. under the dimple — why is life so complex anyway? do you think Gawd puts Suzys little heart where it is for a reason? Or is it the evil ones work? Yes 9;26 Suzy needs to be worked on. btw does Dr P have a spanking bench?

  15. Suzy, you’ve made me snort and laugh so hard I’m crying. It’s really embarrassing.

  16. You don’t fool me for a second, CPR.As if you don’t have that picture of my…um….er….coffee pot saved to your hard drive….

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