AP wire reports confirm that, indeed, the missing cousin has been located alive. Although her accounts were sketchy, she can recall a few details of her whereabouts. “All’s I can ‘member is a blur of car travel, back to school clothes, birthday parties, someone running in Hood to Coast, in-laws in and out, and a schedule of back to work all day meetings. Damn my head is KILLIN‘ me.”

Her husband told reporters that he is glad to have her back but that her mental capacity is still sluggish. “She drools a lot so we just tie a bib around her neck for now. It has definitely taken a toll on the family. All we’ve had to eat is Chef Boyardee and TV dinners. The doctor’s think she may be back in the kitchen in a week.”


4 responses to “FOUND ALIVE…

  1. You are so lucky…the feds stopped near Malfunction Junction, became totally confused, started out towards Capetown, ended up setting up a command post at West Point Ranch, found a mysterious stash of Bush Brothers Baked Beans and a year’s supply of B&M’s Brown Bread in the barn, and then finally drove away in disgust. It didn’t help that they heard ABBA blaring across the countryside as they made their hasty retreat.

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