Have You Seen This Cousin?

If you have, please call 1-800-GETBACKTOTHEBLOGBITCH and leave an anonymous tip.

It’s a sad, cold, lonely Friday night here in Blogland.

Keri has not blogged in days. Cell phone calls go unanswered. Wonder twin cousin power telepathy has been short-circuited.

Squirrel is off talking politics.

Erin is Saturday-nighting her way through Friday night.

Ekovox has turned me into the feds, and I’ve had to bury the marshmallow still in the backyard.

Carol and Greg are drinking limoncello and running naked through the streets of Loleta.

Buservations will no longer speak to me because I accidentally flashed the sisters at her yesterday.

The Boy Most Likely To…is prancing in front of his mirror in assless chaps and a codpiece.

South Fork Ernie is busy trying to get people to be nice.

Heraldo is frightened of my gigantic crush on him and is hiding underneath a burka somewhere.

So tonight…it’s just me and this bottle of wine. hic Obviously.

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8 responses to “Have You Seen This Cousin?

  1. ANONYMOUS TIPThere was a Keri sighting (alleged)Stockholm, Sweeden- Searching for ABBA for the purpose of a “Batter late than Never” reunion tour.That is all I can say right now. These Ass-less chaps are chaffing!!!

  2. Now, now, just because I tried that Everclear Lemon Stuff does not mean I will ever, ever, become a regular. And we never, ever run around naked, at least not in the streets. Not that I remember, anyway.

  3. Kristabel, the feds are holding Keri for interrogation into the marshmallow plot. I saw black helicopters and black Lincoln Navigators with blacked out windows heading up the Wildcat this afternoon at 4pm. Please go to Kinman Pond and wait for further instructions.

  4. The Feds dangled a deal in front of me to turn state’s evidence against Kristabel. I would go to prison for her!!!

  5. Oh my god, Eko, I don’t know what to do…..I don’t even know where Kinman Pond is!!!!! Somebody help me!Carol….at The Schooner, of course! I thought she was someone else.Sure, Greg, you just keep telling yourself that. ;)Erin…because we were separated at birth, remember?Boy…could a girl get any luckier than to have you in her life? P.S. I hear assless chaps go over well in prison.Heraldo…wait…Heraldo hasn’t said anything. Oh my god, do the feds have him too????

  6. My dearest Kristabel: I would run from the Feds, and hide out at ABBA Ranch, but then I would be leading them right to you. I saw the TV show OZ on HBO, and I know what I have to do once I arrive in prison. Oh, and trust me, somebody else will be wearing my chaps!!!

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