Top Ten Irritations of Today

10) The phrase “my bad.”

9) Summer people and their god damned ATVs and motor bikes.

8) People that leave long, rambling messages on my answering machine and use up almost the whole memory. That’s what email’s for.

7) The guy in line behind me who visibly sighed and rolled his eyes because my friend needed help putting cream in her coffee. She has a disability and is learning to do things for herself. He is an asshole and needs to learn a lot more than she does.

6) Gas prices

5) Poison oak

4) Drug Addicts in Old Town. I realize that there are no simple answers for the drug problems in Humboldt. I wish we had better programs, safe injection sites, etc., but sometimes……when they wander into my workplace all day long asking for money….well…..they drive me fucking crazy and I wish they’d just go away.

3) When Squirrel tracks dirt through the house, doesn’t sweep it up, and I step on it with bare feet.

2) People that tell their dogs to “lay down” instead of “lie down.”

1) Due to circumstances beyond my control, weeks have gone by without any Saturday night in them.

That last one’s not obvious or anything, is it?


11 responses to “Top Ten Irritations of Today

  1. yo CCZ…i still cannot get that “lie or lay” thing right…my father was an english professor and was constantly correcting me…i went back to indiana when he was reaching the end, dying…once more i fuckt up the grammar, and there was the poor guy grimacing at my mistake, on his deathbed, one more time…another time i asked him for some words of wisdom…he had none…a few months before he died he did say, “Never grow old.”…cheesh, now THAT’S encouraging!…

  2. It might be hard to have a “Saturday Night” when you live out in the hills.Thanks for the limoncello!

  3. Oh, anonymous…you poor thing. I think the only time dying people give eloquent and insightful words of wisdom is in movies.And the lie vs. lay thing? Don’t worry, you’re in a huge club that even includes Bob Dylan. Yes, “Lay lady lay” should actually be, “Lie lady lie.” xoxoxox

  4. Well…actually Carol…I think it has more to do with the intestinal parasites.You’re welcome!

  5. Hello, My name is Keri and I am guilty of numbers, 2,3,8 and my son occasionally uses number 10.I’m sorry if I hurt or offended anyone. I’m taking it one day at a time.xoxoxo

  6. RE: # 8I wasn’t referring to YOU. I LOVE your rambling messages. I was referring to those OTHER people. xoxoxo

  7. and the weirder thing is that, being son of english prof, I”M always correcting people…now i have a friend who is very smart and corrects me: he hates the word “basically,” says it means Nothing…hopefully is also a bad word (i accuse him of hating all adverbs) and the worse sin is to tell him to “Enjoy!”…i’m his dumbest friend, but the most insistent for companionship…ok, enough about wordz…

  8. we’ll – on number 3 – many men are guilty of this :) i guess we just dont think about that! and that’s just one of our flaws – though its no excuse – btw my name is rob, and im welcoming myself onto your blog

  9. Nick Bravo, otherwise known as Anon.R.Mous, hasn’t had a “Saturday Night” in his whole worthless, sexless life.

  10. Alright, anonymous…yours is the first and last comment of that nature. Anymore Bravo talk will be deleted.

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